


we're breaking, breaking, breaking

by sassastrophe (regulardudetier)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sex, Unrequited Lilo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 18:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulardudetier/pseuds/sassastrophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he's not broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're breaking, breaking, breaking

louis doesn't know what breaks faster: the china glass he surreptitiously threw against the door, or maybe it was his heart. he wants to say his heart, how cliched, but he knows that's not true. it was already broken, never fixed.

"go fuck someone you actually care about" he screams bitterly to the chill loneliness. he's been alone for an hour, maybe two, but it's only now settling into his bones. "i'll be okay" he mumbles, because he doesn't cry. not now, not ever.

he won't be okay.

and he doesn't know where it all went wrong. where he went wrong. "fuck."

it's cold, his temper. the room is hot, boiling, sweating against him and the steam rises and he's choking, unable to breathe. _save me_ he whispers, calling out for the ghosts that he once knew. 

zayn calls liam an hour and a half later and tells him "he won't answer his phone" and "harry won't either" and it's "all a huge fucking mess, i think louis killed himself please go check on him liam" with a begging tone. 

liam is daddy direction. liam is the father figure. liam is also in love with louis but this isn't about him, it's about louis and it's about louis' feelings. 

"let me in louis" he's banging, banging, always banging on the door. breaking. breaking. 

"don't break me" louis is drunk, raspy, can't breathe. he's upset, staring down at the broken china and he doesn't understand "where did it all go wrong, liam?" 

"open the fucking door, louis."

_no. no i won't and you can't make me_ he collapses, uncaring for the pile of porcelain beneath his legs. he hears jingling and forgets about the extra keys, liam pushing his way into the apartment. "fuck." 

*

several cups of tea later, louis explains it all. the breaking, metaphorical (their relationship) and physical (harry's wrist he thinks, as well as the mugs). he explains the sex, drugs, and rock and roll of whatever he and harry had. "it was so perfect until it wasn't," he mumbles. "so perfect, so wonderful. where did i go wrong, li?"

the younger comforts him, holds him, grasps him, shakes him and screams inside his head because "you could never do anything wrong, lou." _it's never you, never you_.

louis drags him to their bed, his bed, tangles himself in limbs and sheets pressed against liam's form and he can't breathe, can't breathe. "love you, li" he whimpers and it's so quiet. and instead of replying liam ducks his head down, lips to lips, swallows louis in a kiss. there's little fear that louis might push him away, kick him out, but he doesn't and he returns the kiss, biting against liam's bottom lip. nipping. his hands grasp for what they already have, all over liam's body. 

they don't make love because louis doesn't _love_ liam but louis sucks him off in a horrible manner and liam gets to fuck him into the mattress once, only once. it's pity sex, and he knows. 

liam wakes up three hours later, the sun pouring through the blinds. a dip in the mattress, louis is crying.

louis is breaking, breaking, broken. 

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is appreciated, thank you :)


End file.
